Today’s blogpost doesn’t fall under hardcore clinical psychology or even mainstream psychotherapeutic topics perhaps. Yet I have never been a sucker for ‘mainstream and hardcore only’ approach to mental health – or be it any human issue. I believe human beimgs are a multifaceted transdimensional specie and even the most basic human experience is made up of multidimensional factors and waking up holistically to being attentive and caring for each aspect leads to human health – mental health, physical health, emotional and practical wellbeing. The realm of mental health too needs a holistic understanding and approach is my personal take. Hence this post today.
While the title says Feminine Sexual Energy it’s a MUST to mention at the very onset of this article that this no way implies that the topic is therefore not relevant for ‘men’s mental health’ or male readers. Both human science and psychology have long accepted what spiritual discourses told us since eons – each human individual, of ANY gender, possess BOTH the Masculine and Feminine aspects – the Anima and the Animus – in varying degrees. NO individual houses ONLY one of the two aspects. Hence using Feminine Sexual aspects for improved mental health applies equally for Both male and female readers. So, read on.
What do I mean by Feminine Sexual Energy?
First and foremost I do NOT mean Only sexuality or sex energy. Feminine Sexual (Creative) Energy as I use the phrase is the energy or drive of creativity and procreation and sustaining, Flowing energy present in every human. Without getting into too much of metaphysical or socio-anthropogical narratives, it can be safely said that ‘That aspect in the human psyche and/or energy that essentially creates and collaborates and holds space for the tribe from a very grounded and Flowing awareness of one’s own being’ is termed as the Feminine Sexual energy.
So. When a woman has sex or gives birth to a baby it is that energy. But also, when she paints or writes or designs her entrepreneurship blueprint it is that same Feminine Sexual (Creative) force at work. Similarly when a man composes a musical piece or basks in the porch watching the sunset and clicking photographs he is tuned into his own Feminine Sexual Force of creativity and collaboration. Or when a man nose deep in his daily corporate rush manages to surrender to The Flow of life and thus achieve murderous deadlines without getting burnt out because he often pauses to watch the skyline outside his glssspane and deep-breathe in bliss – it is the same Feminine Sexual energy he is tuning into.
Before proceeding let’s understand This – My subjective understanding of this topic coincides with the narrative that realizes that BOTH Masculine Sexual and Feminine Sexual Energies in their True Essence are most functional bipolar aspects present in each individual which in archetypal term is loosely called the ‘True Masculine’ and ‘True Feminine’ archetypes – whereas, culturally the human mind has distorted both and what most of us now operate out of are, again commonly termed as the ‘False Masculine’ and ‘False Feminine’ stereotypes. In the portions beneath wherever I am referring to the Masculine Energy of stress and counterproductive adrenaline I mean to refer to Only what’s in archetypal linguistic loosely and commonly termed as that False Masculine. In reality the ‘True Masculine’ operates out of the Healthy and functional stances as much as the True Feminine – and likewise the False Feminine is equally dysfunctional and harmful as False Masculine modes. It is beyond this post’s capacity to discuss it in detail but for a better understanding here’s a quick Chart I tried drawing up for you my readers –
Cortisol Vs Oxytocin and Mental Health
Masculine Sexual Energy is primarily the drive of what Neuroscience will call Cortisol and Adrenaline. The hormones responsible for “fight OR flight” and survival mode. These are NOT evil in the least. AND every woman too possesses these hormones. Any human individual. Cortisol and adrenaline have their own place in human life and functionality. Without these, neither much of outer/professional/social growth would be achievable nor basic survival instinct would be able to protect our specie from real threats.
But as is with any thing, too much of a good thing is undeniably harmful. These “fight or flight” Energies were there to be used for “Real” threats. But human mind – often laced with deep seated insecurities and low self esteem and skewed self-percection and perception of ‘the Other’ begins misusing these hormones and drives – almost like substance abuse for quick relief. Today’s lifestyle, be it for any gender, has become excessively complex – primarily due to unnecessarily complicated and/or unhealthy and dysfunctional mental perceptions. Nowadays we tend to be plugged into our “Cortisol and Adrenaline Kitty” non-stop. PTA meetings of our children send anxiety rush up the parent’s spine. Every purchase online/offline triggers competition and survival of the fittest hormones so we can outdo our neighbor in their material thriving. A late bus, a bad traffic, a teenage heartache, a financial loss, a bad term report, a desire denied, a want unfulfilled – every damn thing has increasingly become a cycle of “fight or flight” and “chasing – hunting – acquiring”.
While this “chasing – hunting – acquiring” is essentially the Masculine Sexual Energy and definitely needed in every human experience yet to overuse and abuse – (which is that same skewing of the essential and functional Masculine Energy into the ‘False Masculine’ mode) – leads to tremendous harmful effects on our mental health – undoubtedly even on physical health. It is exactly here that each individual striving for mental and physical wellbeing needs to up and plug more into their intrinsic (True) Feminine Sexual Energy – that aspect in each of us that Flows, breathes deep and relaxes, trusts the process, thrives in ‘Being’ more than in ‘doing’, collaborates instead of cut throat competing, builds a sense of healthy interdependent community of tribe and “Creates a space of inner wealth” and transmutes this creative and healing energy to oneself and to others. This is the first step to human health – of any nature.
The Sheer Therapeutic Feminine Energy & Mental dis-orders
Anxiety/Depression : Anxiety is rooted in mental patterns of too much controlling, resisting and worrying – a distortion of the Essential Masculine Sexual Energy traits of hunting and procuring and self-preservation. The True Feminine Sexual Energy on the contrary is deeply Trusting and Flowing Energy aspect of the human persona and undoubtedly in the presence of Trust in the Flow of Life anxiety gets disarmed to considerable extent. Depression, likewise, often arises out of faulty Self-perception, low self esteem, a sense of denial and deprivation. True Feminine Energy being rooted in Inner Completion and complete Surrender facilitates stances of Self-worth, Gratitude and total trust in the process of life that helps debunk dysfunctional mental patterns of lack and victimhood and in turn depression.
Stress, Burn Out, Aggression (and most Personality Dis-orders) : Personality is the sum total of an individual’s persona, attitudes and perceptions. True Feminine Sexual Energy which is Essentially Life-giving and Creative, once it’s tapped into, reshapes dysfunctional personality and mental patterns too. The True Feminine Energy that is Trusting doesn’t rush, stress or use power struggles of the mind to survive or derive identity. It is collaborative and nurturing and doesn’t need aggression and mental unhealthy manipulations for survival and self-worth. Tapping into our Essential True Feminine thus can easily displace stress, burn out, patterns of aggression and personality dysfunctions.
Childhood issues and Relationship Addiction : Most dysfunctional mental patterns can be traced back to early years of development, faulty childhood patterns, trauma and unhealthy coping skills. Dysfunctional childhood wounds often manifest as later year abadonment issues, severely dysfunctional relationship patterns and relationship addiction too. But the True Feminine Sexual Energy is so deeply Self-assured and Compassionate that it can help us face our childhood wounds without fear and work our way out of it with compassion. Archetypally speaking, the True Feminine in each of us holds transgenerational memory and strength of “Holding Space” for their Masculine (any gender) or “men” when they go away hunting/fishing/gaming with other “men” or simply go into their “Man Cave” and archetypally “she” uses that opportunity for Self-nurture, Self-growth, Creativity and tribe building and equally functional lifestyle. Tapping into our True Feminine Sexual (Creative/Collaborative) Energy thus facilitates debunking neurotic mental patterns around abadonment issues, unhealthy codependent relational clawing and relationship addiction too.
True Feminine Sexual Energy is deeply Self-assured, self-focussed and simulataneously nurturing and nourishing the Self and Others. Hence it becomes a Vital Key to work towards improved and functional mental health.
Let the Oxytocin Rise
Known as the Happy hormone, it is linked to our inherent mental space of perceiving abundance and feeling gratitude and the sensation of thriving in the Flow blissfully. Oxytocin can safely be used “almost” equivocally to Feminine Sexual Energy hormone.
Science tells us Oxytocin is released each time we encourage certain mental thoughts and actions.
Self care – Self-care is core essential to good mental health. Prioritizing the Self, nurturing our own physical and mental basic needs, allowing ourselves proper food, rest and relaxation is crucial to healthy mind and recovery. It is a MISNOMER that Feminine Energy ONLY gives and gives until all spent. Be it psychology or spiritual philosophies, all teach us that we can never give what we don’t have ourselves. Until we nurture Self Love and Self-care no man or woman is capable of giving it and the True Feminine Energy knowd and honors Self-care above everything.
Slowing Down – Every time we unplug from our inherent Masculine “go getting/hunting/meeting deadlines until burn out” mode fueling anxiety and stress hormones such as Cortisol and Adrenaline and choose Slowing down, we open up avenues of more Flow, more mindfulness and more Oxytocin. Rush and controlling attitudes are opposite to the Feminine Energy that is deeply Intuitive, Flowing and Meditative and operates on “holding space” and “creating breathing space” for oneself and for all others.
Guilty pleasures – When Feminine Sexual Energy is the topic, sexuality and sexual acts can’t go untouched. Albeit with an emphatic “Caution” attached, debunking old moral codes of “guilty pleasure” from our psyche and opening up to so-called tabooed Feminine Sexual Energy does much good to mental health. We as a society are often not comfortable talking about pleasure, more so of physical or sexual textures. But repressing even basic and healthy amount of such experiences often lead to layers of psychological dysfunctionalities. Feminine Sexual Energy or even the hormone Oxytocin flows abundant each time we open up to physical touch, physical excercise and even sexual touch. As a society we have for eons condemned very natural sexual acts such as masturbation too. To explore and self-stimulate, giving sexual pleasure to one’s (male or female or transgender) body is again the healthy empowering of that True Feminine Sexual (Creative) energy.
A Strong Word of Caution here although is that Sexuality being the strongest driving force often gets hijacked, distorted and addictively overused by our Mind to take our attention away from deep seated discomforts and issues and hence acts of sexual pleasure or masturbation can soon become an unhealthy escape if not correctly used with much conscious alertness and in a healthy frame of mind.
But that doesn’t also imply that we throw the baby with the bath water. Tuning into one’s own body and sexual pleasures and rejuvation of the whole being through healthy expression of sexual acts, – with a partner Or by self-stimulation – and even non-sexual physical touch such as hugs, cuddles or holding hands, be it with a friend of same or opposite gender, is again the vital tapping into the Feminine Sexual Energy is each of us. All such sexual and/or non-sexual physical intimacy and acts release Oxytocin and helps us bond with ourselves foremost, and also with our significant human connections, which again facilitates improved mental health.
Other often condemned pleasures such as a weekly sleeping in, a day away from work lists or family responsibilities to just go out with ourselves on a solitary picnic or walk, a longer time sipping beverages in the bath, basically Self nurturing healthy amount of Self indulgence promotes better mental health.
Our Mental Health – and even physical health and practical wellbeing – is linked to being in the space of surrender and trust and The Flow – plugging out of the culturally distorted, harmful and falsified mode of the Original Masculine Sexual Energy of the Hunter, hunting and chasing and procuring – outwardly speaking at regular intervals – and inwardly as a mental stance, constantly – and tuning in increasingly to the flowing and nurturing, creative and collaborative Feminine Sexual (Creative) centre of our Being.
© & Author : Nivedita Dey, 2017
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